Impossible Love
by Foxfeather
Summary: Watari has a fight with Tatsumi and 003 tries to comfort him... Rated R to be on the safe side...


Title: Impossible Love

Author: Foxfeather

Feedback to: foxfeather@foxfeather.de

Pairing: Watari/003 (he, he, wait and read), Watari/Tatsumi

Rating: PG-13

Discalimer: Yami no Matsuei belongs to Yoko Matsushita and I don't make any money out of this. I just had and idea that wouldn't go away until I wrote it down…

„No, Watari!!!"

"But…"

"Don't 'but' me! You have already used more of this month's funding than what's assigned to you, and it's only the 8th! No… more… money….for… you!", Tatsumi fumed.

"But I'm almost…"

"NO!!!"

Tatsumi's voice boomed through the office, making everybody hide under their desks. 

"…done, Tatsumi, please…" Watari had not moved one inch from the spot he was inhabitating in front of Tatsumi's desk. The shadows of the room began moving slightly.

Tatsumi glared at the blond scientist.

"I… said… no." His voice was down to an almost inaudible whisper. "And now get…. out." The shadows flickered.

"Tatsumiiiiiiii…." Watari wailed with his best puppy dog eyed expression.

Tatsumi's expression got even colder than it already was.

"I have enough of your experiments, Watari. You couldn't brew a potion if your life depended on it. It's a miracle that nobody has been hurt by all the explosions you've caused. If we weren't already dead you'd be arrested for endangering lives. Why don't you go back to your mechanics, do stuff that doesn't explode and doesn't cost as much as repairing your lab every few days? We can't take the cost from your pay because you don't get any anymore. You won't get any more money because we simply can't afford you anymore. Not with Tsuzuki also around. Do something useful. And get… out… of… my… room… NOW! In case you haven't noticed, some people are trying to work here!"

With that the shadows moved under the Shadow Master's powers, grabbed Watari by the neck of his lab coat and his belt, opened the door and dumped him onto the floor outside. The door to Tatsumi's office closed with a bang that echoed down the corridor.

Watari sat on the cold floor and simply stared at the wall in front of him. He and Tatsumi had this fight over funds every month and always Watari had noted an almost unnoticeable glint of amusement in Tatsumi's eyes. It was their game. But this time had been different. Tatsumi had never been this cold before. And what he'd said… it had hurt. There had been no amusement, no subtle teasing. Just coldness. A burning coldness.

A pair of feet moved into Watari's view. "Watari? Are you alright?" Hisoka sounded worried. Trust an empath to ask questions he already knew the answer of.

"Yes, of course", Watari brushed him off. He stood up and slid his hands over his lab coat, trying to smooth it.

Hisoka's green eyes narrowed. "Watari…"

"So I'm not alright!" Watari snapped. "Who cares?" He turned around and stomped away, in general direction of his lab.

"Whoa! What's wrong with him?" Tsuzuki asked, staring after his friend. "I've never seen him like this before."

"Even Watari can't be happy all the time." Hisoka frowned, trying to sort out the emotions he had received from the scientist. He knew that Watari's ever present cheerfulness was sometimes just a façade, but he also knew that there was no use in trying to talk to him about his problems. Watari was always open and willing to listen to everybody else's troubles, but  a very private person when it came to himself. "Just leave him alone. He'll be back to his normal self in a short time, you know that." Hisoka ushered his partner back into their office, but the look he threw into the corridor where Watari had long vanished out of sight was full of worry. He vowed that he would talk to Tatsumi as soon as the secretary had cooled off a bit.

~~~~~

"'Something useful!' Hah! My experiments are useful! And even if they explode sometimes, they're experiments! Doesn't he think I make them explode on purpose? 'Some people are trying to work here'! So I'm not working, eh? Is it my fault that my district is so quiet? And it's not that I don't help everywhere I can, is it? Pah!" Watari had worked himself into an anger that had him close to tears. Deep inside he knew that Tatsumi had been right. His experiments were a disaster, his work did nothing but cost money and even if he and the others in the building were already dead, the explosions were dangerous nonetheless. He felt the tears finally spill over and sagged down against the closed door of his lab, sobbing his heart out. 003, his tiny owl came fluttering from her perch towards him and hooted soothingly, landing on his shoulder and trying to nip the tears from his face. 

"At least you are nice to me, girl", Watari mumbled into the sleeve of his coat. You're my only friend. Gods, I'm disgusting, aren't I? To weak to take the truth. I'm a complete looser. I have no idea how I managed to pass the test to become a shinegami in the first place. Tatsumi's right, I am worthless, I only cost money and I'm a danger to everybody." Watari looked up and let his gaze wander over his lab, over the beakers with bubbling fluid in various colors, the Bunsen burners with their scorched tubes, the stained tables and sideboards, the various containers with chemicals and potions and whatnot. All the expensive equipment.

"I have an idea. Yes. That's what I'll do. I'll clean this mess up, I'll collect everything usable and then I'll sell it. The whole lab. Everything I ever invented. And then I'll give Tatsumi the money and… and… and… I dunno. Maybe do paperwork. Or clean the floors. Or just… retire…" That last thought made him cry again. "If I go to Konoe and ask him if I can take my test back, that I want to die for real… maybe…"

003 hooted disapprovingly. "Yeah, I know. But it's an option…"

Watari got up from the floor, blew his nose and straightened. "First, cleaning up. And making an inventory as I go." Determined, he started to work. "And whatever I do, it will show Tatsumi that I _can_ be useful, that he was wrong about me, and he will be sorry if I am gone. Yes. He'll cry his heart out, that cold-blooded bastard!"

~~~~~

003 sat on her perch on top of one of the closets and watched sadly how her human started to take his life apart. She watched him cleaning out one corner of the room, setting up big cardboard boxes that he labeled fussily and then filling them with the meticulously cleaned items of his experiments. Test tubes in one box, each one wrapped in paper, each one another mark on the inventory list. Bunsen burners in another box. Chemicals weighed and sorted by alphabet and carefully set apart in different boxes if they were able to react with each other. The tiny owl watched as Watari burst into tears every now and then, never stopping what he was doing, wiping his eyes with the sleeve of his coat and muttering under his breath about how unfair Tatsumi was, how he hated him for saying things like that, how he would be sorry when he, Watari, would finally be gone. 

This was that part that hurt 003 the most. She could not picture a life without her human. She loved Watari dearly, he was the sun her world circled around. She had no idea what she would do without him. Whenever Watari burst into tears again she was out and about to fly to Tatsumi and pick his eyes out, but she didn't dare to leave her beloved Watari alone. Not when he was like this. Not when he needed her. There had been some times when she had wished to be a human, to be close to him. And there had been one short time when Watari had become an owl. But the transformation hadn't been complete, he wasn't able to understand her. And he was too excited about his – for once – actually successful experiment to notice her. This was one of the moments when she hated being an owl, not being able to hold him, to comfort him, to stroke his hair like he stroked her feathers, to show him how much she loved him.

She watched on as he got to the safe where he kept all his potions, the ones that worked, few as they were. Most of them were lucky hits, where he had intended to brew something completely different, only to come up with an invisibility potion or the one that had turned him into that wonderful, honey-colored owl. And it's antidote. The antidote that had turned him back into a human. 003's heart began to pound faster.

Beneath her, Watari finished packing his equipment, finally taking each of his potions into his hands to take it up in his inventory, adding his notes how to brew them. Emotions flickered over his face as he remembered each incident, each time he had mixed his potions into the coffee or the doughnuts to test them on his fellow shinegami. "Tatsumi hated me for this. He hates me. And he has every right to. I only treated them as guinea pigs, not as my friends. How can they love me? Nobody loves me…" He picked up the two vials with the owl potion and held them against the light. "I remember this. I was happy, being an owl…"

With a loud hoot, 003 swung through the air like Tarzan on a vine and crashed against his hand. The vial with the antidote flew high into the air and crashed down onto the floor, the bluish liquid leaking out of a huge crack. 003 swooped down and landed directly in the puddle, soaking in it and sipping it up.

"003! What are you doing! Stop that…. immediately…" Watari's voice died down to a whisper when he watched the tiny owl change her shape, stretching more and more, growing and transforming into a human form. Within seconds he was staring at a young woman, small and slender with mouse brown, slightly fluffy hair who was sitting naked in the puddle of potion and the shards of the vial. 

"Wha…. 003?" Watari stuttered, his gaze trailing down her body. Then he blushed furiously, shrugging out of his lab coat and covering the girl with it. She smiled at him and slowly, carefully tried to stand up, still getting used to her new body. She was still tiny, only about five feet, and the lab coat was trailing over the floor, making her trip over it as she took her first step towards him. Watari stepped forward an caught her, surprised how light she was. And blushing again, when he felt her body press against his. 

"003…?" He still couldn't believe what he just saw, but then the girl looked up and he saw her eyes, the same eyes he knew from his little owl-friend. 003 slung her arms around him and snuggled closer. She hooted softly, making him look down at her in surprise. 

"Can you speak?", he asked, remembering his own transformation.

003 hooted again, shaking her head and a sad look crossed her face. She buried her face into his chest and sighed contently.

Watari finally wrapped his arms around her, holding her awkwardly. "Why did you do this? You knew what you were doing, right?", he asked, still confused.

003 looked up and held his gaze for a long moment, then pulled him down to her and kissed him softly. Watari's eyes widened in shock, then closed under the sensation of soft lips on his. Reluctantly, she pulled back after a time, lifted her hands to his face and wiped the last salty trails of his tears away from his eyes. 

"You didn't like me being sad?", Watari guessed.

003 hooted and kissed him again, a soft touch of her lips on his, then cocked her head and watched him questioningly.

"You wanted to comfort me?", Watari guessed again.

She smiled but nudged her head forward for him to continue guessing.

"What else…" Watari tapped his finger against his lips. "I have no idea."

003 looked impatient now, then thoughtful, then the let Watari's coat slide down from her body, stepped up to him again and hugged him to her, kissing him hard. Watari's hands moved up to catch her and touched her naked flesh. A moan escaped his lips as he felt his body react to having a naked woman pressed against him and shocked, he grabbed her arms and pushed her away from him. "Stop that!"

A hurt look washed over 003's face and she slumped together, looking at the floor between them. The sight gave Watari's heart a pang, his emotions about Tatsumi came flooding back to him and finally, he understood.

"You… love me?"

003 didn't look up, but she nodded imperceptibly.

"Oh, Gods, I'm sorry! I didn't want to hurt you! I was just so shocked, so… uhm… forgive me?" Watari looked sheepishly at her, quickly looking away again as he caught his gaze wandering down her body. 003 finally looked up and smiled up at him, tentatively reaching out for him. Watari took her hand and she stepped closer again, nearly touching his body. 

"Uhm… we definitely need some clothes for you, 003", Watari mumbled, blushing at the feeling of arousal that washed through him. 003 tugged experimentally at his light blue turtleneck. "You want my sweater? Uhm… okay, why not…" Quickly he lifted the garment over his head and gave it to her. Instead of putting it on, she let it drop and brushed her hands against the black shirt he wore underneath. Watari groaned when he felt his nipples harden under her curious touch. 

"What are you… doing?" She plucked his shirt out of his black jeans and began to explore his skin underneath it. 

"003! What… we can't…you're an owl!" Watari protested half-heartedly. He forgot his doubts when 003 guided his hands to her breasts. Her eyes widened in surprise at the sensation. She had been with Watari long enough to know what he liked, where he touched himself, oblivious to the owl that had first tried to sleep though his moans and gasps, then, after some time, as her feelings for him deepened, had watched with more and more curiosity. Now she had just assumed that what a man liked might be what he'd be doing to a woman, too, but nothing had prepared her for what it felt like to be touched like this. She liked to be petted and stroked as an owl, but with no feathers in the way… it was indescribable. 

This time it was Watari who bent down to kiss her. And he showed her that a kiss was much more than just the touch of lips. She arched up against him, burying her hands in his hair, to crush his mouth to hers, both of them nipping and licking and nibbling at each other's mouth. Watari's red hair ribbon came loose and his hair spilled down around their faces. Watari started to nibble his way along her jaw line to her ear, smiling when he heard her gasp in surprise when he started to nibble her earlobe like she so often did in her usual form.

Suddenly, 003 cringed and bent over, clutching at her stomach.

"003! What… oh, shit, that's the potion! It made me sick as well. You're not supposed to be human, your body fights the transformation!" Watari helped her to sit down on the cold floor, away from the sharp shards of the vial and grabbed the owl-change potion from the desk. 003 pushed his hand away when he tried to open the vial and grabbed his head for another kiss. She had to stop after a few seconds when another cramp hit her. Tears shot into her eyes and she hissed in pain. Watari opened the vial and forced her to drink its contents. 

Sadly, he watched as she started to transform back into the tiny owl that hooted at him sadly. "I know. I'd've liked you to stay longer, too. I… I love you, too. Though I never had an idea that it could be like this." Carefully, he gathered the tiny bird up in his hands and kissed her beak. 003 nibbled back at him, a sad look in her eyes. 

Behind him, somebody knocked at the lab's door. 

"Watari?"

Tatsumi. At once, Watari's mind snapped back to what had caused 003's transformation in the first place. "Come in." He barked, still kneeling on the floor next to the puddle of blue liquid.

When Tatsumi entered, the first thing he noticed was that there was not one single experiment in sight. The second thing he noticed was Watari's flushed look. His hair was down and tousled, his lab-coat and turtleneck on the floor in front of him, and his shirt hanging out of his pants. His breath hitched in his throat at the sight. Sternly, he suppressed the urge to grab the man and kiss him. After what he'd done today Watari most likely hated his guts. And he'd never, ever act on his feelings about the scientist anyway. That just wasn't him. But hat sight… Tatsumi blinked and noticed a third thing. Watari held 003 in his hands, his whole attention focused on the little bird. And then there was this puddle…

"What happened? Is 003 all right?" Tatsumi hurried over to Watari and  hunched down next to him to take a look at the owl.

"She's fine. She just smashed down that vial."

Tatsumi sighed heavily. "Thank God. If something had happened to her… I wanted to apologize to you. What I said earlier wasn't nice and I'm sorry I snapped at you." He stood up and helped Watari to get back o his feet, too. The secretary looked around to find something to wipe up the shards and the blue liquid and finally noticed the boxes and crates at the far side of the room. "Watari, what are you doing?"

"I'm packing. I've made an inventory of everything that was in this lab and I noted the prices for the stuff, too, so you don't have difficulties selling them. There are a few potions left I need to write down, then the lab is all yours." Without looking at Tatsumi, Watari set down 003 on the desk, picked up the last two vials, jotted down some notes on a list and put them into a box. "That's it. I'll clean up the mess, and then I'm gone."

Tatsumi watched him, his mouth slightly open. "Wait! What do you mean, then you're gone?"

Watari paused, but didn't turn around. "You said that I'm dangerous, useless and not worth my money. So I'm leaving."

"Leaving? To where?"

"I'll ask the Gushoshins and Konoe to take my license back. I don't want to be a shinegami anymore. I'm of no use here."

"But… but then… you'll die!"

"So what!"

"So… Watari! Stop it!" Tatsumi brusquely walked over to the scientist, grabbed his arm and whirled him around. "Don't you dare to leave!"

"Why shouldn't I? You don't want me here, Tsuzuki and Hisoka can manage alone, and my district is as quiet as can be. You yourself said that you can't afford me. I'm useless. Be glad you'll get rid of me this easily!"

003 hooted sadly from behind them. Watari turned to her and smiled sadly. "You're the only one I'd stay for. I'd hate to leave you behind. You're the only one here who needs… and loves… me."

"That's not true, Watari."

"Huh?"

"003's not the only one who needs you. Without you… I can't imagine how it will be. Hisoka needs you. You're the only one he talks to about himself. He doesn't even talk to Tsuzuki. And Tsuzuki would break without you. Next to Hisoka, you're the only one who can make him forget his past.  I mean totally forget about it. And…" Tatsumi stopped.

Watari had picked up 003 again and softly stroked her feathers with one finger. "And…?"

"And I need you, too. You're the only one who can make me smile."

"You never smile, Tatsumi."

"I do, when I think of you."

With that, 003 bit into Watari's finger and hooted encouragingly. 

"What?" 

003 hooted again and fluttered weakly.

"Wait! You're much too weak to fly now!"

But 003 hovered over Watari's hand, then dropped down to the floor, managing a mix out of falling and flying to not crash down. Picking herself up, she hop-walked over to where Watari's hair ribbon lay, picked it up and waddled on to Tatsumi, who gently took it from her.

"What does that mean?", Tatsumi asked, turning the red ribbon in his hands.

"I think she wants me to forgive you."

003 gave a loud hoot and stomped one claw down.

Tatsumi bent down and scooped her up. "I very much hope you take her advice, Watari." 

They both watched as 003 made her way up Tatsumi's sleeve to his shoulder, where she perched with an audible sigh. The she turned and began to nibble his earlobe affectively. Watari blushed, remembering that he had done that earlier to her, too. Then his eyes widened. "You don't mean…"

"I don't mean what?" Tatsumi asked, puzzled.

"003! You can't mean that!"

The owl hooted assuringly.

"No way!"

"Watari?"

"He's not like that! We're not… He wouldn't…You are wrong, 003!"

"Watari, what are you talking about?"

"She wants me to kiss you! Oops." 

Tatsumi looked at the scientist incredulously. "Since when can you understand owl-speech? And why would she want you to do that?" Tatsumi felt himself blush at the idea of being kissed by Watari. He had a crush on him, for a long time now, but he would never dare to act on it, or even mention it to anybody.

"I don't understand owl-speech. And as to why…"

003 stretched on Tatsumi's shoulder, making a motion that looked as if she leaned into somebody and gave a long, soft hoot.

Watari's eyes widened. "You love me?"

Tatsumi choked. "Uhm, well…"

"Are you sure 003? And you won't be jealous?"

003 hopped from one foot to the other an Tatsumi's shoulder.

"You just want me to be happy, neh?"

003 hooted again and Tatsumi somehow felt left out of the conversation. He felt very much involved, however, when Watari stepped close to him and kissed him. Surprised, Tatsumi needed a few seconds until he kissed back, but then he threw all doubts, his pride and his image as the unflappable Shadow Master away and let himself fall into the sensation of Watari's lips on his. Reluctantly, he let go of Watari what seemed an eternity later.

"You were right, 003", Watari made a hop and clapped his hands. "So, Tatsumi, does that mean I can stay?"

Tatsumi was still trying to get his senses back together, and so he just nodded. 

"And I can keep all my stuff?"

Another nod.

"What about experiments?"

"Just be careful."

"And funding?"

Tatsumi slumped down. 

"Just joking. We're really tight this month?"

"Too tight. We may have problems with the payroll, if anything bad happens this month. That was why I was so… mean this morning. I just… snapped."

Watari nodded slowly. "Would it help if I tried to sell some of my inventions?"

"You'd do that? I know how inseparable you and your inventions are."

"If I can help you with that. I can invent them again."

Tatsumi smiled one of his rare smiles. "That's why I need you, Watari."

Watari grinned, finally back to his normal, cheerful self. He looked around and scanned the boxes and crates for something sellable.

"So… it's your fault that I can't make inventions you can sell right now, because it's your fault that I packed everything into crates. Help me unpacking it? Maybe… this evening?"

"Sure. Will you tell me how you communicate with 003?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"It's private."

"Uhm. Now I'm really curious."

"Maybe later. Much later."

"Okay. Can you invent something so that Tsuzuki starts doing his paperwork instead of burdening Hisoka with it?"

"Threaten him with poisoning his stack of sweets if he doesn't."

"Good idea."

003 was still perching on Tatsumi's shoulder, watching her human finally act normal again. She would watch over him like she always did, and she would do what normal owls seldom do: she would dream of an impossible love.


End file.
